ahlen karine!

happy 19th birthday(+ 4th and 5th month anniversary)! i have a couple gifts for you :)

the "biggest"/most special to me is this webpage. i started this 19 days before you turn 19, and i'll finish it on your birthday. each day i'm doing something (whether it be writing, art, something else random) related to you. i want to show you how much i care about you!

in fact, this is entirely "coded" by hand, and i've never wrote html/css (not proper programming, but kind of coding) before. i love to to the point of learning! i hope you like this. it's portable, so you can look at this webpage at work, on the train, wherever, whenver.

please be nice please as this is my first time trying to "code" a website.

day one!

26 july 2026

here's a playlist to begin: 'know I think you're awesome, right?

milkshake — before sunrise

daydream delusion
limousine eyelash
oh, baby with your pretty face
drop a tear in my wineglass
look at those big eyes
see what you mean to me
sweet cakes and milkshakes
i am a delusion angel
i am a fantasy parade
i want you to know what think
don't want you to guess anymore
you have no idea where i came from
we have no idea where we're going
lodged in life
like two branches in a river
flowing downstream
caught in the current
i'll carry you. you'll carry me
that's how it could be
don't you know me?
don't you know me by now?

day two!

27 july 2026

a plum for you ♥

think about me too much

i wade through water
i toil through land
each night my thoughts drift
and on you they land

i think too much of you.

day three!

28 july 2026

you thought i would never get you flowers ☹
i'll keep proving you wrong ☺
open here!

did you catch the "imagine me and you" reference?

day four!

29 july 2026

i hope i did't screw up your name too much...

i hope i did't screw up my name too much either...

losing & knowing

dear karine,
this is a letter for you. i can't explain how much i miss you. i feel like such a loser for feeling this much. i just feel like something is missing. when you hang up the phone, it feels like i'm letting myself lose something.it hurts more because i know how much it hurts when you do feel lost, so far away. i know i'm dramtic. i'm sure that this doesn't just have to do with you. i'm sure i'm just projecting and it's deeper rooted in general loneliness. still, you do feel far, and i hate it. i can't wait until i see you. i can't wait until i see you in the fall and there isn't a clock ticking in the back of my mind.
yours always, jamie ♥

how i feel writing in the arabic script:

day five!

30 july 2026

a blanket on the roof stargazing in rathnagrew
silence and darkness as far as we can perceive (except in our room)
a room lit only by fire and hearts
homemade blueberry and apple treats
waking you up with breakfast in bed
wearing a hoodie fresh with your smell
taking an empty train back to reality

i made you in winx form because you're magic ✷

and i made you again as a total drama island character (cartoon from 2010s, i watched the first few seasons growing up) because I needed to express my never-ending thoughts of you somehow...

day six!

31 july 2026

perfect places — lorde

every night, i live and die
feel the party to my bones
watch the wasters blow the speakers
spill my guts beneath the outdoor light
it's just another graceless night
i hate the headlines and the weather
i'm nineteen and i'm on fire
but when we're dancing, i'm alright
it's just another graceless night

i can't quite explain what this song means to me, just know it's an honor for me to associate it with you.

karine's 19th!

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